All relationships need nurturing and there are skills that are helpful to learn to enhance relationships. We are not born with these skills; just because we love someone does not mean we know HOW to love them. The love simply gives us the “gas” but does not give us the guidance or the ability to “drive” the relationship to the place we would like to go. The following hints are just a sampling of some of the things that can be helpful to enhance a relationship.

Listen, Listen, Listen!
Listening is not a passive endeavor but an active one. You want the person you are listening to know you are “hearing” what they have to say. Things you can do are:

• Paraphrase – Repeat back in your own words what the other person has said.

• Summarize – Gather all the information in your mind and tell the other person how you “sum it up”.

• Avoid Distractions – when listening to another you need to focus on what that person is trying to tell you. By finding a quiet space to talk, by turning off the T.V. and/or allowing phone calls to go to voice mail you can then focus and truly take in what is being communicated to you.

Be Empathic
Try to put yourself in the other persons “shoes”. Try to think and feel like the other person does and tell them those thoughts and feelings you believe they are having.

Compliment and Notice Others' Efforts
Tell those around you what you like and admire about them. Notice when efforts by others have a positive impact on you and tell them you have made this observation. Let them know you appreciate them and tell them this often. The net effect of your letting others know how much you admire and appreciate them comes back in a domino effect; you begin to see the world with an ever increasing positive perspective and your relationships are enhanced to a degree you never thought possible.